Eighty MPH Mom – The Three “C’s” for a Successful Marriage

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The Three C’s for a Successful Marriage

My husband and I have been married almost 19 years now (and together 23), which I think is pretty amazing. It sometimes feels like just yesterday that my husband and I met and subsequently fell in love. I knew from the start that he was different than anyone else I had ever dated.

I was raised in a very peaceful household, and my parents never fought (in front of my brother and I at least), so when past boyfriends picked fights with me, it made me very uncomfortable. I’m not a fighter in that sense. Luckily my husband feels the same way and that is the secret to our peaceful marriage. If I could give one piece of advice to any new couple, it would be to make sure that your partner loves you with the same kind of love that a parent gives. It must be someone who has your best interest at heart…always.

So many marriages fail, and it saddens me to no end. I have seen couples argue and generally just being disrespectful to each other, and I think to myself, if only they would stick to the list of “C’s” which are a must in every relationship.

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Compassion

When you see your partner hurting, do you hurt deep down inside too? When they are having a rough day, do you help as you can, but also step back when they need to be alone? Everything is not about you – there are two people in this relationship, but you should function as one. Care about the other person as much as you care about yourself.

I was reminded of how important compassion is over the weekend.  My kitty, Jake, passed away.  He was my special baby, and I loved him dearly.  My husband knew how devastating this was to me, and when it was time to take him to the vet for the final time, my husband said he would take him.  He did not want me to watch Jake leave, and instead of making me go through this painful experience, he took the pain instead (part of it at least).  He came home very upset and we shed a few tears together over the loss of our kitty. My husband never wants me to hurt, and this was such a selfless thing he did for me (and something that meant so much).  That right there?  That is true love.

Communication

Communication is key. When you keep things bottled up inside, you will most likely become resentful. Resentment is ugly, and it is sometimes hard to undo that feeling. Instead of waiting until you are seething about several things, gently approach your partner as issues come up. If you have the right partner, they will be willing to listen calmly and work with you to find a solution to the problem.  Be open and be honest…always.

Compromise

We are able to compromise on just about anything, because we honestly care about each other’s feelings. It takes two to compromise and finding a happy medium is a beautiful thing!  Neither of us are selfish, and things just run smoothly when neither of us are determined to have something “our way”.

When you truly love somebody, it’s not hard at all to be kind, giving, caring and loving.  Why fight?  Why not compromise instead?

In my experience, compromise is the most important part of a marriage, by far. A favorite song of ours is “Meet in the Middle” by Diamond Rio. It is how we live each and every day. Take a listen…

“We gain a lot of ground, cause we both give a little – ain’t no road too long, when we meet in the middle”.

Another favorite song, that describes how beautifully a marriage can work when two people work together – “Something That We Do” by Clint Black.

I like to think of our marriage as two very special flowers growing in the yard.  These flowers need  to grow and thrive…always, individually and together.  When you cross breed these two flowers, they become one, and they stand even stronger.  When you don’t tend to your marriage, it can wither and die.  Water and fertilize your marriage each and every day, even when the sky is filled with dark clouds, the day seems gloomy, and it seems that the sun will never appear.The sun will shine again, and with consistent care, the two flowers that are now one will keep growing.   When nourished, you will have the healthiest, most strikingly beautiful flower ever.

I hope you will read, and re-read these marriage tips. Do you have any “C’s” to add to the list? Or any other advice for a peaceful and successful marriage?

Don’t forget to check out Tiffany’s post in our marriage series.  She offers some fun & exciting date night ideas!

 

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About Author

Jennifer Regan is the owner/editor-in-chief of Eighty MPH Mom, a family-friendly blog. She is active in Brand Ambassadorships and campaigns, and is active in social media, helping brands promote!

44 Comments

  1. Excellent advice. The same thing happened with our dog when we had to put her down. I think humor and laughter are also very important in a marriage.

  2. LOVE this post! Communication is so true. My husband and I have stayed in counseling for our entire five year marriage so we can constantly improve on our communication. So I guess my addition would be “counseling” when times are good or bad!

  3. I am not a fighter either, and I like to have a nice smooth marriage without drama. The three C’s are a must for a Happy marriage and I try to follow them every day! Compassion is huge in a marriage. To have empathy for your partner is a must.

  4. These are great tips! More people should work on these. Marriage is always a work in progress. You need to be in tune with your spouse in my opinion.

  5. These are great words to describe what it takes to have a successful marriage as long as the person is deserving, there are some that are users, cheaters, etc, no amount of C’s will ever fix that kind of relationship.

  6. Natalie Brown on

    Congratulations on your 23 year relationship with your husband!! Your advice is so very true. Thank-you for such a sweet & informational post!

  7. Communication is the most important one, but Compassion helps smooth the way toward getting ears to listen so there may be a road to Compromise.

  8. Kelly Tupick on

    I agree!! Every marriage needs the the C’s!! My husband and I are going on 20 years together and I couldn’t be happier.

  9. Mary Happymommy on

    It’s definitely all about compromise. My husband and I have been married almost 16 years (together for 19 years). This is miraculous to me because my parents have each been married 3 times. I think I learned from them what NOT to do.

  10. These are good tips. These 3 “C’s” take a lot of maturity, and maturity isn’t gained overnight, but by a process. One well worth it, of course!

  11. These are all very true, and each of the c’s can be applied to many struggles marriages can go through as well.

  12. I definitely agree! I think what’s most important for my relationship with my husband is communication. That’s key for us!

  13. I agree with the three C’s. I have been married for 25 years and we have compromised on a lot of things.

  14. What a thoughtful and thought-provoking post, obviously written from your heart. Thanks for sharing your insights. And I’m sorry about the loss of your special cat.

  15. Della Barker on

    Such a wonderful post and these are things that we all need to remember and practice every day in our relationships. Thank you

  16. saminder gumer on

    these are all great points in a marriage. you need everyone of them for one to work. there are some other non c’s that are important as well. thanks for the advice.

  17. I think Kindness (spelled with a ‘C’) is so important. Remember to treat those around you as nicely as you would a stranger.

  18. I love love love this post. (So much that I retweeted it.) This is what it’s all about right here! 🙂

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