Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
Here are my “not me” moments of late:

I DID NOT get frustrated when I couldn’t get my cell phone charger adapter from the glove box. It WAS NOT stuck and I DID NOT tug and tug on it. The end of the phone charger DID NOT come flying out and hit me in the forehead, and my daughter DID NOT find this funny. I DID NOT finally laugh with her, even though it hurt.

I DID NOT run like hell a few minutes ago when my husband invited me in to “hang out” while he and my daughter painted her room. This WAS NOT their project, and I DID NOT think I would get roped into it if I stayed. I DO NOT have other things to do, like write my Make Me Laugh Monday.

I drive my daughter and her twin friends to school each day. The other day, I DID NOT back out of the driveway, look in the rearview mirror and see only one head. I DID NOT think immediately that I ran one of them over. I DID NOT panic, NOT for a minute. She WAS NOT sick and staying home that day. From now on I WILL NOT check my rearview mirror for two heads before putting my car in reverse.

Here are a few NOT ME’s from days gone by:

I DID NOT squirt my hubby in the face when he was driving while we were on the way to Disneyland. I was in the passenger seat, sitting happily with my ice cold bottled water w/sports cap. He DID NOT want me to get him one too, so I DID NOT set my bottled water between my legs as I turned sideways to get one out of the cooler in the backseat. As I turned, my legs DID NOT squeeze my open bottle of water and the freezing water DID NOT squirt all over his face, clothes and steering wheel. He DID NOT look stunned and I WAS NOT laughing hysterically after saying “Oops, sorry, hon”…I DID NOT LAUGH for 15 minutes straight.

My father-in-law DID NOT melt my plastic Pampered Chef pot on my new flat glass stove top, while babysitting my then 7-year old daughter. She DID NOT say to him first, “Papa, mommy only uses that in the microwave!”. He DID NOT go ahead and try to make soup. My house DID NOT smell like burnt plastic when I got home. Bless his heart, he DID NOT try.

I DID NOT get the biggest kick out of my son when he was three years old and I took him to the Dr. This was the same doctor I had as a kid…he WAS NOT a serious, gruff man. He DID NOT have a long beard, and he WAS NOT wearing a turtle-neck shirt. My little guy DID NOT stare at the doctor for the longest time and say in all seriousness “WHERE’S YOUR NECK?”. The serious doctor DID NOT crack a smile, and DID NOT lift his beard, pull his turtle neck down a bit to show my son that he DOES NOT have a neck. My mom DID NOT giggle like crazy when I relayed this story to her…she then DID NOT relay this story to me:

When I was little and had the same serious doctor, mom took me to see him. I was a wiry little skinny thing and Mom DID NOT claim that I never sat still. The doctor WAS NOT even thinking about giving me a shot, he DID NOT go to poke me, and I DID NOT scoot away. He DID NOT poke the cushion instead. My Mom DID NOT think it was hilarious. She also DID NOT think it was hilarious when the doctor said, “Maybe we should try this another day…she’s kind of upset.” He WAS NOT the one who was upset!


About Author

Jennifer Regan is the owner/editor-in-chief of Eighty MPH Mom, a family-friendly blog. She is active in Brand Ambassadorships and campaigns, and is active in social media, helping brands promote!

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