Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
Here are my “not me” moments of late:
I DID NOT squirt my hubby with water again yesterday. I was driving, and he was in the passenger seat and he opened the sunroof, and was resting his hands on the roof. Some person in front of me just DID NOT have to wash their windshields at that very moment. The spray from their car DID NOT get all over my windshield, I DID NOT curse. I then totally DID NOT have to wash mine too. While turning on my wipers with automatic spray, my hubby DID NOT start freaking out, as the spray DID NOT land all over his hands and face. It DID NOT miss me, however, because my hands were inside the car. Of course, those of you who know me, know that I DID NOT laugh really, really hard – especially because he was already in the doghouse. It DID NOT actually make me think, “Hmmph, take THAT”. I AM NOT an angel and WOULD NOT ever think that.
My husband DID NOT leave his #@$#@ golf bag right outside the door to the garage. I DID NOT trip over it two times in one day, and the second time the wheel of said golf bag DID NOT catch between my pinky toe and ring toe. I DID NOT curse and then “kindly” ask my hubby if he was going golfing today. He said he was not, so I DID NOT ask him to move it. But first I DID NOT contemplate whether I should mention it at all – after all, they learn from doing right?
My daughter and I took a mini vacation to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk over Spring break, and here are a few not me moments from that:
When we went to the boardwalk after arriving in Santa Cruz, I DID NOT bat an eye when she asked if we could go on the carousel. That is an easy ride – I did not mind. When we stood on the platform, and I was looking around for a horse that was “down low”, it was NOT ME who hesitated three times, afraid I WOULD NOT be able to hoist myself onto that damn horse. It should be easy right? Well it WAS NOT. I finally got myself on the horse and enjoyed the ride….except when the ride ended my evil horse WAS NOT at the very top of the pole. I did not look like a moron trying to shimmy casually off the horse. My daughter WAS NOT doubled over in laughter. Here is the evil horse:
While my daughter and I were standing in line, I DID NOT think it would be fun to take a picture of ourselves. I turned the camera towards our faces, snapped, turned the camera around to see our picture, and I DID NOT see this instead:
Crap. I checked the camera again, and yes I did have it in the right position, so I took another picture of us…here is how it turned out:
are you sure?
I DID NOT give up at that point.
Since we were only going to be on the boardwalk for one day, I WAS NOT determined to try one of everything at every food stand. The smells of Corn Dogs, Cotton Candy, Funnel Cakes, Popcorn, Ice Cream, and Churros WAS JUST NOT too much to resist. I DID NOT actually eat all of those things I just listed, and then we DID NOT go out to dinner at a nice restaurant and it WAS NOT ME who ordered Clam Chowder, Potato Skins (okay – my daughter ordered those, but I had to taste them, right?), Shrimp and Crab Louie Salad, and Coconut Prawns. I DID NOT wake up with the worst stomach ache in the morning and wonder if I would be able to drive home. I DID NOT text my hubby to see if we could stay an extra night…he did not answer (after I texted three times). I figured he was in a meeting. My daughter and I did not pack up and leave. When we pulled off the freeway exit by our house, my husband DID NOT call and say “Sure, you girls can stay another night”. I WAS NOT annoyed, even though he was being so sweet. He also DID NOT say, “Sweetheart you should have just called me.”
Your Eighty MPH Mom