The moments in life that completely stop us in our tracks. The unexpected tragedies that result in a major loss can result in the pain feeling so unbearable. People talk about moving on, but this can seem like an impossible idea and, in fact, can be insulting to the memory and love that we hold so dearly, but perhaps moving on doesn’t necessarily mean letting go, but actually having the right practices to help us live again and carry the person that we’ve lost? Loss affects everyone differently, but the challenge is more than just emotional, but about balancing grief with daily responsibilities, particularly as a parent. Here are some perspectives that can help you frame what moving on looks like in real life when the worst has happened.
Understanding the Legal Realities
When tragedy strikes as a result of negligence, such as through medical misconduct claims, families face emotional and legal challenges. Seeking justice or accountability can be a crucial step in the healing process, but when we experience something like this, it’s not about seeking revenge, but it’s about ensuring that what has happened doesn’t happen to someone else. Compassionate legal support allows families to focus on recovery while professionals handle the complexities of the system. Recognizing the aspects of justice and healing being able to coexist is often a turning point, particularly for many grieving families.
Acknowledging Your Emotions Without Judgment
The fact is there are so many different paths to healing because the grieving process encompasses so much, from anger to guilt, confusion, but these emotions are natural when you’ve suffered loss. For parents this can be particularly complicated because we feel we need to stay strong for our children, but if you allow yourself to grieve openly this means that you’re able to teach the people who depend on you that sadness is not a weakness or something to hide, it’s actually something that honesty and love take center stage.
Remembering the Person
A lot of people talk about the whole “life goes on” approach, but the reality is that when we operate like this, we’re not necessarily acknowledging that someone has gone. When we experience pain, we try to avoid it as much as possible, but this is where we can create rituals to help us remember those we’ve lost, like lighting a candle, making a scrapbook, or visiting a special place that can anchor memories in something far more tangible. When we remember someone, we’re not refusing to move on, it’s actually a way of moving forward while keeping something about them close to us.
In the end, life after tragedy is less about closure, but actually about consolidation and integration, and this means we can find ways to carry our love for them forward even after someone has gone. And yes, it can feel impossible, but time, community, as well as compassion can ensure that we make space for grief and for gratitude. Moving on becomes an act of courage, and it gives us a choice to keep living our lives fully; losing a loved one can still be a part of our journey.
