Modern obsession with space might be hurting more than helping.
We’ve been sold a dream: the sprawling house, the Pinterest-worthy nursery, the perfectly decorated “big kid” room — all in the name of giving our children space, privacy, and independence.
But here’s the truth most parents won’t say out loud:
Your kid doesn’t need their own room. And in many cases, they’re better off without it.
Before You Gasp…
No, I’m not saying children don’t deserve personal space, dignity, or a sense of self. I’m saying this idea — that a child must have a dedicated room of their own to thrive — is a modern Western invention, not a necessity.
Throughout history, across cultures, families shared sleeping quarters. Siblings shared beds. Cousins were raised like siblings. Kids weren’t banished to distant corners of the house — they were embedded in the warmth of family life.
And guess what? They turned out just fine. In fact, they may have been better off.
The Secret Benefits of Sharing Space
1. Less Loneliness, More Connection
Kids don’t always want to be alone. Sleeping in a room with a sibling or even close to parents can reduce nighttime anxiety and foster emotional closeness. Many adults remember staying up whispering with a sibling in a shared room — those are bonding memories that solo bedrooms can’t buy.
2. Stronger Emotional Regulation
Shared space = shared compromise. When kids learn to sleep near others, they naturally start practicing empathy, patience, and boundaries — skills that are way more valuable than interior design preferences.
3. Less Stuff, More Simplicity
A shared bedroom often means less clutter, fewer distractions, and more mindful choices. Children don’t need a room full of toys to be creative — they need a secure space where they feel seen and loved.
Let’s Talk Economics (and Pressure)
In this housing market, telling parents they “should” provide a separate bedroom for every child is tone-deaf and privileged.
Families are doubling up. Rent is insane. Home prices are unreachable for many. And yet, we’re out here pushing the idea that our kids must have a Pottery Barn-branded solo sanctuary or we’re somehow failing?
That’s not parenting — that’s marketing.
What Kids Actually Need
-
A warm, safe place to sleep
-
A family that listens and shows up
-
Emotional support and stability
-
Consistency — not square footage
Your child can flourish in a shared room. They can thrive in a studio apartment. What matters isn’t how much space they have, but how much love they feel inside of it.
So, Let’s Rethink the “Own Room” Rule
Instead of feeling guilty that you can’t give each kid a separate room, flip the narrative:
You’re not depriving them.
You’re giving them a sense of family closeness they may carry for life.
