Finding a dead relative is one of the most traumatic experiences that anybody could ever encounter. Unfortunately, it happens. Whether they died in their sleep or due to an accident, the harrowing image is one that you’ll never forget. While the shock will hit you like a train, the next steps you take are vital.
The fact you’ve never faced this issue before, along with the emotional factor, makes it a daunting situation. The harsh reality is that this is going to be one of the hardest times of your life. Use the following advice for guidance, though, and you will get through it.
Address The Immediate Situation
When you have discovered a dead body in your home, everything else in life suddenly seems irrelevant. You will need to get this situation under control before you even think about other duties like work or completing errands. A call to the emergency services for an unexpected death or the family doctor if it was expected due to terminal illness is key.
The death needs to be confirmed and registered. In some cases, a post mortem or autopsy may be needed. After the body has been removed from the home, you will want to arrange suicide cleanup services or other relevant experts to restore normality. It’s not a task you’ll want to take on yourself, but it needs instant attention. From a hygiene perspective as well as a mental one.
Of course, you may need to make a few calls to your employer or arrange for childcare. Outside of this, though, everything else can wait.
Arrange The Perfect Send-Off
Sadly, the loss of a loved one isn’t the only potential source of upset at this time. Families can be quickly torn apart over disputes regarding estate planning. Hopefully, the deceased’s intentions are detailed in a will or other estate planning documents. Even so, you can’t stop others from causing trouble. What you can do, though, is celebrate the lost loved one’s life.
Funeral arrangements should be made quickly but with care. While respecting traditions is likely to be a priority, you also need to think about the personality of the dearly departed. From themes and flower choices to music choices at the wake, the goal is to do things the way they would have wanted. Preventing family feuds, even if it’s only for a day, is also key.
As well as issues like finding the right headstone, you may want to consider ideas like raising funds for a charity they care about.
Consider Your Mental Health
Many people hit autopilot after discovering a loved one’s body. The trauma will hit you at some stage, though. With this in mind, it is important that you give yourself the best chance to process the emotional pain without spiraling. Continuing with positive lifestyle features like regular exercise, good nutrition, and regular social activities is vital.
When it comes to the trauma itself, you must face it head-on. Attempting to bury it deep down will only lead to worse problems later on. Accepting help from professionals, friends, and strangers who have been through similar experiences is useful. You may additionally require support with your sleep. Getting this back under control is crucial for your overall wellness.
Above all else, you must accept that you could not have saved the lost loved one. Any feelings of guilt or self-blame must be tackled.
Help Others
Another key reason to practice self-care at this time is that you cannot give the best version of yourself after neglecting this. Even if you were the only person to discover the body, losing a loved one is difficult for all other loved ones. Grieving together and facing the transitional phase together as a family can make a huge difference.
Your presence is naturally the greatest support at this time. However, you can also guide them towards professional services related to trauma response and handling the emotions. A spouse or direct dependent may also benefit from your support with household bills, chores, or daily tasks. This could include simple admin like reorganizing bill payments.
Leaving a positive impact on others will give you immense satisfaction. Better still, it gives your life added purpose while also keeping your mind occupied at a tough time.
Manage Legal Responsibilities
Some of the legal responsibilities have already been discussed. However, registering the death within the required timeframe and helping loved ones manage bills is only the start. There is a potentially long list of legal and financial matters to consider. A conscious effort to quickly address issues, whether they directly impact you, is essential.
Informing banks, landlords, and mortgage companies about the situation is vital. You may also need to look into insurance policies and financial records to support the estate plans. It’s usually best to speak to solicitors or probate specialists at this time. Aside from avoiding potential disputes, it saves you from a lot of stress.
The knowledge that the legal matters have been organized should give you peace of mind. Not least because it saves loved ones from potential problems in the porcess.
Give Yourself Time
Finally, many people fall victim to putting a timeline on grieving and other processes. Life doesn’t suddenly stop, and you do need to move on in the right direction. Still, you need to stay kind to yourself and allow yourself to navigate this moment at an organic pace. The last thing you need is a relapse or negative fallout down the line.
Accepting that the healing process is a gradual situation removes a lot of pressure. This allows you to see the full benefits of healthy routines or time away from work. Likewise, any new traditions created as a way to honor the dearly departed should bring more positive outcomes. In many cases, it can positively influence the timelines too.
The truth is that life is never truly the same, but it should still be enjoyed. Processing trauma and allowing yourself to move on is the key to making this happen.
