Sometimes, as a parent, it can be so difficult to improve your mental health; it can be hard to improve yourself in general, be it physically, emotionally, mentally, you name it. But really, it’s true, and you can guarantee it hits moms far more than moms. Like, there’s a very specific kind of guilt that shows up when a mom tries to do something for herself, and wow, it really does have some nerve. It can show up while she’s putting on leggings.
It can show up while she’s grabbing her keys. It can show up the second a kid says, “Where are you going?” in that tiny voice that somehow makes a 45-minute workout feel like, well, you’re being selfish. And it’s weird, like, it makes no sense, your family is fine, they’re safe, nothing is wrong. The house is standing. Dinner can still happen. Nobody’s life falls apart because mom takes an hour to move her body, for her mind, well, for her own well-being.
But why is this voice even there? Why is there this instant rush of guilt the very second you want to do something for yourself? Well, that’s mom guilt, and it’s awful. Sometimes, there’s this mental negotiation you have with yourself, and it does get to the point where it needs to be kicked to the curb.
Moms Get Used to Being Last on the List
Well, women in general, but it’s especially true for moms, though. But it’s so true, though, so many moms don’t even notice how far down the list they’ve slipped until they’re completely drained. For example, the kids need breakfast, someone needs clean socks, there’s a school form on the counter, the baby needs a nap, the laundry needs switching, the fridge is somehow empty again, and yeah, of course, there’s probably a message sitting unread that needs an answer too. Like you’ll take care of all of these things before you do anything for yourself.
So you might go the whole day just not eating because you’re busy catering to the rest of the world. But you’re not a machine. You’re not built to pour out energy all day without getting anything back. At some point, the body starts asking for care too, and it shouldn’t have to beg for it.
Usually, the Guilt Feels Louder than the Actual Logic
While yes, most moms know exercise helps. That part isn’t confusing. Movement can help with stress, sleep, strength, confidence, patience, and that heavy, foggy feeling that can build when every day is just care task after care task. But knowing that and actually giving yourself permission are two totally different things, right? When it comes to feeling guilty about anything at all, well, all logic goes out the window here.
It’s just so draining to think that way all the time. No, seriosuly, a mom shouldn’t have to justify wanting to feel strong in her own body. And so maybe looking into a gym like Fitness 19 can be a realistic option because it’s family-friendly and affordable, which makes it feel less like some huge lifestyle overhaul (because sometimes it can honestly feel that way for some fitness bootcamps and classes) and more like one practical way to stop putting personal health at the very bottom (and chances are that’s what you’ve been doing for years now).
Even just getting a personal trainer from there that can help you with your exercises and meals, like even that makes a big difference.
Kids Don’t Need a Mom Who Disappears into Burnout
This is the part that hits a little close, because so many moms are trying so hard to be present, patient, loving, and available, while also running on crumbs of energy. Is this something that you might remember about your mom? Do you see this in yourself? Your friends? Your grandma? Well, a lot of moms do this. And yeah, kids need love, attention, comfort, and stability, but they also benefit from seeing that mom is a person too.
Just please keep in mind here that kids learn from what gets modeled in the house. If they only ever see mom ignoring her own needs, pushing through exhaustion, and treating her body like an afterthought, that teaches something too, something you don’t want.
