The Three C’s for a Successful Marriage
My husband and I have been married almost 19 years now (and together 23), which I think is pretty amazing. It sometimes feels like just yesterday that my husband and I met and subsequently fell in love. I knew from the start that he was different than anyone else I had ever dated.
I was raised in a very peaceful household, and my parents never fought (in front of my brother and I at least), so when past boyfriends picked fights with me, it made me very uncomfortable. I’m not a fighter in that sense. Luckily my husband feels the same way and that is the secret to our peaceful marriage. If I could give one piece of advice to any new couple, it would be to make sure that your partner loves you with the same kind of love that a parent gives. It must be someone who has your best interest at heart…always.
So many marriages fail, and it saddens me to no end. I have seen couples argue and generally just being disrespectful to each other, and I think to myself, if only they would stick to the list of “C’s” which are a must in every relationship.
When you see your partner hurting, do you hurt deep down inside too? When they are having a rough day, do you help as you can, but also step back when they need to be alone? Everything is not about you – there are two people in this relationship, but you should function as one. Care about the other person as much as you care about yourself.
I was reminded of how important compassion is over the weekend. My kitty, Jake, passed away. He was my special baby, and I loved him dearly. My husband knew how devastating this was to me, and when it was time to take him to the vet for the final time, my husband said he would take him. He did not want me to watch Jake leave, and instead of making me go through this painful experience, he took the pain instead (part of it at least). He came home very upset and we shed a few tears together over the loss of our kitty. My husband never wants me to hurt, and this was such a selfless thing he did for me (and something that meant so much). That right there? That is true love.
Communication is key. When you keep things bottled up inside, you will most likely become resentful. Resentment is ugly, and it is sometimes hard to undo those feelings. Instead of waiting until you are seething about several things, gently approach your partner as issues come up. If you have the right partner, they will be willing to listen calmly and work with you to find a solution to the problem. Be open and be honest…always.
Learn to listen and communicate effectively about things you are going through. It can be easy to shut your partner out rather than open up to them about the way you feel. If you are suffering from mental health-related issues, such as feeling depressed or anxious, it is essential to discuss these with your partner so that they understand your behavior. Openly discussing how you feel with your partner can take a weight off your mind and provide you with the additional support you need to feel better. Getting help for things such as a panic disorder treatment and communicating with your partner, can help to strengthen your relationship bringing you closer together.
We are able to compromise on just about anything, because we honestly care about each other’s feelings. It takes two to compromise and finding a happy medium is a beautiful thing! Neither of us are selfish, and things just run smoothly when neither of us are determined to have something “our way”.
When you truly love somebody, it’s not hard at all to be kind, giving, caring and loving. Why fight? Why not compromise instead?
In my experience, compromise is the most important part of a marriage, by far. A favorite song of ours is “Meet in the Middle” by Diamond Rio. It is how we live each and every day. Take a listen…
Another favorite song, that describes how beautifully a marriage can work when two people work together – “Something That We Do” by Clint Black.
I hope you will read, and re-read these marriage tips. Do you have any “C’s” to add to the list? Or any other advice for a peaceful and successful marriage?
Don’t forget to check out Tiffany’s post in our marriage series. She offers some fun & exciting date night ideas! Also, check out our ideas for things to do together and the importance of family time.