Guest Post: True Confessions of an Empty Nester

True Confessions of An Empty Nester

I want to make Chicken Enchiladas this weekend, but I don’t dare. Last weekend, I was considering baking a pound cake. But, I nixed that too. These are two of my daughter’s favorite foods. And even though she’s now in her second year of college, I still can’t get used to the idea of making her favorite foods when she’s not around. I mean, it’s not like she would actually know if I cooked these things. But I would know. And that somehow feels wrong.

Being close to your child can be both good and bad. It’s good because you want to have a wonderful relationship with your kid, but it’s bad because when they leave home, you’re left feeling – well, empty.

And, though, she’s only an hour away, it doesn’t matter. The point is she’s not here. I can’t even complain about her not cleaning her room. It’s always clean. And empty.

Did I mention that she’s my only child? That doesn’t make me any more special than parents who have two kids or three or four or even six. It’s just that for the last 19 years, she’s sort of been the center of my life. There, I said it. Center of my life. Which means I need to get a life, right? But where to begin?

I mean, just as I was getting a little used to her being gone, there’s summer break. And I get all ga-ga over her for three months and then bam – she leaves again. And then there’s winter break and I get to enjoy her company for three weeks, we’re hanging out, going to lunch, checking out chick-flicks and then – boom – she’s gone again.

I think it’s a little easier for my husband, although I’m sure he misses her too, but it’s kind of hard to miss somebody when your life is centered around work and TV sports. Maybe that’s his way of coping.

For those of you who have kids who will be going off to college in 2012, I wish you luck and peace of mind. I don’t wish you to be texting all hours of the night, like I did for the first year. Okay, I still do it.

Some ideas to help you cope. Find a group that you enjoy, i.e. a book club. Rediscover your spouse. Um, scratch that. Rediscover yourself. Join facebook, if you haven’t already. It’s a great way to reconnect
with people from high school or college.

And set tiny goals for yourself. For me, it was allowing myself to bake again – but not stuff that she likes, unless I’m sending it to her. I bake stuff my husband likes. That way he thinks that I care that he likes it and I get the therapeutic results.

And, last but not least, reality TV. Big doses of reality TV because nothing takes your mind off missing your child like an episode of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta.” Am I right?

By: Dorothy Stewart – find Dorothy on Twitter @accutype!