It’s more important than ever to teach your child to be responsible on social media.
Social Media etiquette. It might sound like a strange idea, especially if you’re all about online spats and drama, but it’s one of the most critical skills you can teach a child as a responsible parent. From how to keep themselves safe from strangers with bad intent through to how to protect themselves from cyberbullying- and stand up for others- it’s one of the most important skills a child can learn in the digital age. Here are some tips and resources to help you get started.
The Rise of Cyberbullying
When discussing online behavior with our children, we tend to focus on personal safety. And that’s critically important, of course! But creepy strangers sliding into your child’s DMs aren’t the only pitfall of the spread of social media. Cyberbullying is on the rise, and even if your child isn’t affected, it’s highly likely they know someone who is. Arming your young and growing minds with the tools to be a safe consumer, a good friend, and a secure young adult is critical. Staying safe from cyberbullying and online danger is a lesson they need to learn, not something you can force on them.
The Good and Bad Sides of Social Media
Many parents feel that if they simply ban all social media usage, the problems will go away. Not only is that not true, but it can also have a knock-on effect on your child that will echo for years to come. Like it or loathe it, times have changed, and social media is a key part of everyone’s lives. Nor is that always a bad thing! Social media helps us:
- Stay connected with those far away
- Get involved in important causes and broadens our worldview
- Enhances creativity and encourages creative output
- Creates a sense of community where we can share interests
- Allows communications with key figures, including educators and peers
However, without the right balance of common sense, critical thinking, resistance to peer pressure, and knowledge about good behavior, it can become a far more negative influence. You can’t protect your child forever, and they’ll soon be a young adult who has to navigate a world where social media is part of their life. Leaving them with no guidance on navigating the murky social waters leaves them at risk of:
- Revealing important facts about themselves to the wrong people
- Naively posting pictures with location data and revealing their real-time locations, home addresses, and more
- Grooming from people with bad intent
- Not learning how to fact-sort and distinguish fact from manipulation
- Feeling shame over cyberbullying instead of getting help
This leaves them desperately vulnerable in an arena where online predators, cyberbullies, and other figures can actively harm their mental and even physical health. A frightening amount of children have had online contact that left them uncomfortable and scared, viewed online advertising with inappropriate messages or manipulation, and lied about their age to get access to communities they should not.
As any parent knows, this is simply an extension of a child’s transition from youngster to adult- we see these same dangerous behaviors echoed through time at this tender age. However, the always-on aspect of social media, coupled with the lack of parental control over what’s being viewed, means proactive, informed guidance is needed.
How Parents Can Help Their Children Online
If blanket bans only leave children vulnerable (and curious), what can parents do to help their kids be responsible on social media?
Remember Being Young
This is surprisingly critical in the journey to teach good social media habits. Did your parents snooping in your diary make you feel safe and teach you lessons, or did it just make you hide more and feel violated? Did you respond well as a teen to adult lectures about dangers that seemed distant and impossible, right when you felt the most indestructible? No, so echoing those behaviors in your child’s digital world isn’t going to do anything positive, either.
Teach Kindness
This is a natural extension of behaviors you’re already teaching. Make sure children don’t fall under the spell of internet anonymity to behave badly to others and think it’s ok.
Encourage Communication
Instead of making your children scared to tell you things that happen online, encourage open, honest communication without judgment so they always feel they can come to you.
Teach Critical Thinking
Encourage children to be skeptical of what they’re exposed to online, and use logic and research to discover what’s true and not. Remind them that actions have consequences, so posting revealing information or horrible things online can hurt them and others. They should think twice before pressing enter. You can even use the ‘grandma’ rule- don’t say anything online you wouldn’t want your teachers, peers, and grandparents to read back. And teach them never to simply accept strangers on face value- or add them as friends.
Use Privacy Settings and Rules with Understanding
Don’t secretively enact privacy settings and trackers. Instead, engage your child in the why of what you’re doing, and ensure they understand how these things keep them safe. Teach good password habits and why they shouldn’t share everything. Explain why you limit their media use or only want devices used in family areas. Make them part of the journey so they learn from it.
And don’t forget: Setting a good example through your own virtual behavior can go a long way toward helping your kids to be responsible on social media. If they see you being a cyberbully, they will learn from you. If you instead teach them to be smart, safe, and kind online, as well as call out cyberbullying they encounter, you can raise happier, healthier kids who know how to react safely to these incidents.
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