Online dating can kill you. It happened to my friend.

This is not an easy post. But is a post that needs to be written, as others should be made aware of the dangers of meeting up personally with someone you’ve connected with online. I can tell you from personal experience that online dating can kill you – it happened to my best friend.

Last summer, my husband and I were pretty bummed out when we heard that our best friends were divorcing. We had all done everything together and we knew things would change. We were close with their young daughters as well, and we managed to still get together with both of them separately. Last summer we decided to still do our vacation on the coast in a rented condo, and she would come over and stay with us for the first half of the week, and he would come over the latter half. Although it was different from how we originally planned it, it worked. It was a little bittersweet, I won’t lie.

My friend and the girls came to hang out at my house frequently, and we always had so much fun. My friend and I always laughed together and had a blast no matter what we were doing. She also gave the best, most genuine hugs ever. I treasured my time with her.

She had arranged for a day date

Flash forward to January of this year. We had planned for my friend and another friend to all come to my house one Saturday evening, so we could have some fun girl time. We had been looking forward to it for quite some time. My friend texted me the night before that she would come over after her “day date” the following day. I thought it was very smart of her to arrange for the first meeting to be during the daytime. She had met this person on the online dating site Plenty of Fish.

I was busy painting the bathroom in our shop most of Saturday, anxiously awaiting her arrival. I hadn’t seen her for a couple of weeks and I missed her.  Around 3:00 p.m. I decided to check in with her to see what time she thought she’d be over. I sent her a text asking this question, and she replied, “Hopefully soon”. I replied with “uh oh, not going well?”. She answered that he was nice, just not for her. My friend was found dead at 3:45 p.m..

I didn’t hear back from her after that 3:00 text from her. I thought maybe she was driving or something. A bit later, I texted her again.  I received no reply. After a couple of hours and more unanswered texts, I was getting concerned and decided to check in with her ex-husband. She wasn’t answering anyone else either. We were all getting very worried. I had an incredibly uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I can’t go into all of the details, but what we know is that she picked her date up at his apartment (he didn’t have a car apparently), and they took a walk in nearby park. From what I understand, she then took him back to his apartment to drop him off. There are several theories about what happened next, but I do know that she wouldn’t go in his apartment willingly, especially if she didn’t like him. She just wouldn’t.

My friend was SHOT and killed by this beast within 45 minutes of our last communication. My best friend, and the mother of two beautiful girls, lost her life at the hands of this animal. She was a daughter and a sister, an avid animal lover and a friend to so many. He did this so callously…for what? It is all so senseless.

It was no accident

The police were notified by the guy himself. He called and told them that he shot her and she was dead. When they arrived, they found this to be true and an arrest was made with manslaughter charges.

I don’t know if justice will be served at all, since he is claiming it was an accident. This infuriates me.

Often we hear of these horror stories on the news, but you never think something like this will happen to someone you know and love. Someone who DID NOT deserve this {nobody deserves this}.

I do know two couples who met on a popular and reputable dating site and have successful relationships, but this is not the site that my friend used. I just don’t feel that any online dating site is safe, knowing what is possible.

Please, please… if you partake in online dating, I hope you will take this story to heart and think twice about meeting people this way. Normally I would suggest that if you must meet up with someone you met online, that you do so during the day (as my friend did), but that is not a safe option either. She did all of the right things, but she still lost her life. If you, your children, close friends, or anyone else that does online dating, please warn them about the potential dangers. Share this post, and ask them to share. Please just warn everyone you know, that online dating is a horrible idea. You are better off meeting people the old-fashioned way – through friends, friends of friends, church, etc.

Warn those you love

If you MUST find a potential partner on one of these online dating sites, please take someone with you for the first few meetings. Do it during the daytime and do not pick someone up at their house. Let them meet you and a friend somewhere very public, and when it’s time to end the date, do so from the same spot. Do not go to their house or anywhere else they suggest. After they leave, wait awhile before you take off, and make sure you’re not being followed when you do leave. Or just don’t date someone you met online.

I will never get my beautiful friend back. I miss her terribly and I don’t believe I will ever get over the loss of her. Her girls will grow up without their mother. Her mother no longer has her daughter. Her sister no longer has her own sister. It is devastating to all. I will never get her back, but I do feel that something I can do for her is to warn others of the dangers. My friend isn’t the only one who has been murdered due to using an online site. You can do some Googling to see for yourself other horror stories.

Take it from me – online dating can kill you. Please don’t do it!