Don’t Drink and Fly (my major spilling issues)

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Fear of Flying

spilling drinks on airplane

As you may or may not know, last week I headed to Los Angeles for the L.A. Bloggers Brunch.  I had a shuttle pick me up from my house to take me to the airport.  Actually it was a little car – a new little car and I was the only person in it, other than the driver.

I was nervous about flying, and was really quite proud of myself for actually doing it.  I figured I had better do it at least once before BlogHer ’10, and this was also an event I did not want to pass up.

I had picked up a Grande Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha before the driver got there, and was happily sipping on my tasty hot beverage on the way to the airport.  My drink was anchored between my knees, I was heading out of town – life was good.

rude stewardessesAs we exited the Caldecott tunnel, the driver over corrected one of the curves on the freeway.  Panic set in as I looked down and saw my drink upside down on the floor.  Coffee had kindly spilled down the inside of both jean legs too, and IN my shoes.  It was a huge mess.  This was the only pair of pants I brought with me because…well, they are the only ones that fit currently!  Ummm…what do I do now? I asked if he had a towel because I dumped coffee all over the floor of this new car while he was driving like a moron I spilled “a little” coffee. Of course he did not have one.  I couldn’t wait until we go to the airport – I just wanted to hide. I was so embarrassed walking through the airport.

When I arrived at the hotel, the coffee had pretty much dried, but it was obvious that something had spilled on my jeans.  I washed the pant legs off in the sink and set them on my balcony to dry.  The coffee was still a little obvious the next day.

spilling coffee

SO, on my  way home, I got on the plane and settled in.  The stewardess was bringing drinks around and I ordered a Coke.  I was working on a crossword puzzle, listening to my ipod and looking forward to getting home. There was a nice man seated next to me and a lady next to him.  It took all of my strength not to freak out at every little bump or inkling of turbulence and I was in my ‘zone’.  All of a sudden, I felt something….wet.  When I looked down, I was horrified to see that my coke had spilled all over my pants.  This time it wasn’t on the bottom of my jeans.  It was “there”.  Yes, it looked like I got scared and peed my pants.  Not again!! My backside was wet too – it had spilled under me in my seat.  I reached under and pulled ice cubes out.  Nice…real nice.  Of course everyone on the plane was staring.

spilling problems, spilling drink on airplane

The stewardess came by and said “Oh that is going to be sticky.”  Gee, thanks lady.  Now do you suppose you can get me something to WIPE THIS UP WITH!!??  Pretty please, with sugar on top.  She wandered off and came back with 3 paper napkins.  Surely you SH*T me right?  I asked if perhaps she had a towel back wherever it is that stewardesses go when they disappear.  She replied, “Ummm no, we don’t have towels.”  She did, however, supply me with about 7 more thin paper napkins.  Wonderful – this should do the trick!  I untangled myself from my ipod cords and a nice lady across the aisle took my workbook, pen and Starbucks (oh yes, I just HAD to get a Starbucks at the airport.  Did I learn nothing?).  I wiped up the best I could, as the fella next to me laughed and said, “Are you sure that wasn’t a cocktail?”  Oh how I wish.  I might as well have had a stiff drink.  I strategically aimed the little air vent above me at my crotch and sat there fuming and humiliated.  I was also planning how I was going to get through the airport, while looking like I had an accident.  Not cool at all.  Luckily I brought a sweat jacket with me and it didn’t get wet.  I would tie it around my waist.  Ooooh – then I remembered that I had my laptop bag (which has a long shoulder strap).  Perfect – I would put it around my neck, with the bag portion covering my…well you know.

It worked!  I was nervous standing up in the plane, but I did it.  The sweat jacket covered my backside perfectly, and the lady across from me gave me the once over and then the thumbs up. Sweet!  I probably looked a little funny walking through the airport.  I was uncomfortable too. Yuck. I waited for my bag and then waited for my shuttle.  I was filled with happiness when I saw the car pull up.  The driver was a lady – I was happy to see this as I really needed some sympathy at this point.  She provided me with plenty.

don't drink and fly

I was so incredibly happy to be home.  But let me tell you something:  The next time I, the Eighty MPH Mom travels, I am not taking liquids of any kind with me.  If I must have a coffee, I will finish it before hopping in a car or boarding a plane.  When the stewardess asks me if I’d like something to drink, I will simply say, “Thanks, but no thanks…just peanuts please.”

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About Author

Jennifer Regan is the owner/editor-in-chief of Eighty MPH Mom, a family-friendly blog. She is active in Brand Ambassadorships and campaigns, and is active in social media, helping brands promote!

29 Comments

  1. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) on

    Oh you poor thing! I'm with blueviolet – don't leave us hanging! What happened next? 🙂

  2. •´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Mrs. Cox.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• on

    LMAO oh dear… the story was definitely worth the wait.

    I swear I have a hole in my lip. I'm constantly dribbling coffee or shiraz on my shirts. One time I was having yogurt before my shift at work, went to take a bite and the spoonful splatted right on my chest. RIGHT THERE. *sonofa*

  3. OMG, so freakin' funny! It sounds like you need a Sham-Wow. LOL

    IT's 2 in the morning and I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. If it were me, I'd swear those pants are jinxed…I'd get rid of them….burn 'em if you have too!

  4. You poor thing. Same thing happened to me on the way back from Miami, Fl. Soda all over my pants. At least you know your not alone 😛

  5. lol Well since I'm traveling with kids when I go anywhere, I'm always covered in some sort of goo. At least the coffee and the coke would have smelled nice. I would much rather have that than what I'm usually covered in. Blech. 🙂

  6. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) on

    That was so worth the wait! And I stand by my previous comment – you poor thing! 🙂

  7. So sorry you had such a rough time of it. I know how you feel, I'm constantly spilling things. You may want to take your own advice and just say no to the liquids. Better safe than sorry.

  8. I don't get drinks when I fly for two reasons. 1. teeny tiny bathrooms made for children or skinny people and 2. spillage.

    Sorry Speedy!

  9. ejrichter60 at gmail dot com on

    Sounds like you were a teeny bit "tipsy" ;)! Good for you for being so sassy, smart, & brave!
    Moms always know how to think on their feet…even if soaked with Coke N' coffee!

    Now you have nothing to fear on your next trip…all the bad is all "behind" you now! 🙂

  10. Lorie Shewbridge on

    I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to laugh at you… it is just you tell such a funny story.
    I spilled a cup of coffee on me and Bill once when we were flying from CT to LA. We were on a "puddle-jumper" from CT to New York (the first leg of the journey) when the coffee spilled (mostly on me) through my pants onto my undies… ouch, hot!
    Now I only drink vodka martinis, they are not sticky and they have no color. 🙂

  11. I'm a total spiller too and it's frustrating especially when it comes to wardrobe change. Sorry to hear about this rough trip!

    dreamzz12{at}aol{dot}com

  12. Lauren @ Hobo Mama on

    One time my husband and I were flying standby and got upgraded to first class because coach was full (sure! we'll take it!). Clearly we are not first-class folk, because I accepted the complimentary champagne and promptly spilled it all over myself. I'm sure the attendant was just shaking her head at me.

  13. Jennifer – TOTALLY feel ya! I am the most accident-prone person, and I swear that they make flight beverage cups extra slippery!

  14. Wow, you handled it far better than I would have. There would have been tears followed by a severe outcry at both the driver and than the stewardess. Hats off to your grace under pressure!

  15. oh WOW, what a story! lol-I know it sure wasn’t funny at the time..NO TOWELS?! lol-What on earth? so odd to me…She could’ve acted a little more concerned lol

    Thanks for sharing the story!

  16. I loved story. I am so clumsy. I have spilled red wine many a time on a plane (now I sound like an alcoholic). The most recent time was when I was on my way to adopt my daughter …OVERSEAS. I spilled the wine about 1 hour in of a 20 hour flight. What fun!

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