Every parent dreams of providing their children with a fruitful future and comfortable life. This includes giving them access to better education and opportunities. In order to achieve this, most parents set up a college fund for their children early on. Even less economically stable families try to save some money to help their children during college. Students also start preparing for college as soon as they enter high school. However, many families forget that preparing for college is a process that also requires mental and emotional strength. Going to college is a huge change in the lives of both children and their parents, and it changes the dynamics between them. The quicker parents are able to accept this change and adapt to it, the healthier their relationship with their children will be.
Strategies That Help Parents Who Are Sending Their Kids To College
1. Make Plans That Don’t Revolve Around Your Children
Parents must plan for a life outside their children. This is an important step towards accepting that your children are going off to college. Once a child goes to college, parents have a lot more free time on their hands, as they are not providing for their children full time. If their child moves out for college, the house can seem empty and parents might get lonely. This is an opportunity that parents must capitalize on. Perhaps, they can make travel plans, or take up a new hobby. This way, their time is well occupied and they will not feel like they don’t have a purpose.
2. Prepare Your Child To Be Independent
Preparing your child to be independent can act as a validation mechanism for anxious parents. Parents who have confidence in their child’s ability to take care of themselves in every situation are more confident to send them off to college. There are many external support systems available for the child/student. For example, he or she can check out free essay examples to get assignment ideas. Student unions also exist to help students enter college for the first time. Additionally, parents can teach their children basic chores like cooking simple meals, cleaning up after themselves, and doing their own laundry. All of this prepares children to succeed in college and gives parents confidence in their children. Parents who made sure that their children can exist independent can have peace of mind and focus on their own lives when their kids are in college. Those who didn’t will likely be under constant stress and may even annoy their children with extra attention.
3. Get Therapy If Required
Parents can seek out an additional support system (in the form of a support group, or by talking to others parents of college students) in order to cope better. There is also nothing wrong with asking for professional support from a therapist. Another coping mechanism can be keeping a journal. Parents can use a physical journal or take advantage of some digital writing tools to journal their feelings and thoughts. This can help them to better process their thoughts and feelings.
4. Establish Communication Rhythms With Your Child
Another way in which parents can prepare emotionally before sending their child to college is by establishing a regular communication channel with them. Communication should be established at a pace that both the child and parent are comfortable with, irrespective of whether it is on a daily, weekly, or bi-weekly basis. It can be more frequent for the first few weeks or months and decrease in frequency later, or vice versa. As long as both parties involved are comfortable with the pace, there is no right or wrong answer.
Setting regular communication rhythms can help parents reduce their anxiety about not being able to see their children every day.
A Few Final Words
We know that it cannot be easy for parents to see their children fly off to college and become independent. It is undoubtedly a moment of pride for them, but it also means that their children are now less reliant on them to provide basic care. At this time, it is important for parents to find other ways to meaningfully occupy their time so that they do not feel depressed or lonely. At the end of the day, it is important to remember this – no matter what, children will always be attached to their parents, and by being supportive, parents can enjoy an enriching relationship with their adult children throughout their lives.
About the Author – Charlotte Banks
Charlotte Banks is a therapist, freelance writer, and mother. She specializes in relationship management, especially in relationships between children and their parents. She conducts individual and group therapy sessions for her clients and believes that open communication can prevent misunderstandings between people. In her free time, she writes articles about different cognitive behavior patterns and healthy coping mechanisms.
