I was listening to the radio this morning, when a lady called in, very upset. Her 17-year old son {he is a good student, good grades, etc} smokes pot. That wasn’t her main concern, but she found out that he had made pot brownies and shared them with the neighborhood kids {without them knowing they had pot in them}.
The kids were mostly 12 and 13 years old. One kid got pretty sick, the rest were fine.
The question this mom had was whether she should tell the parents of the kids who ate the brownies, or since they were okay, should she just let it be, but have a talk with her son.
If your child did this, you would naturally want to protect them. I imagine you would be scared that a parent might tell the police and your child could get into MAJOR trouble. Telling the parents would be extremely uncomfortable and scary.
I am curious what you would do in a situation like this. Really put yourself in the mother’s shoes – what would you do?
I will tell you the outcome later…
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27 Responses
I think I’d tell the neighbors what happened. They could call the police and the could get in serious trouble, but if my son was smoking pot and making pot brownies and giving it to the neighbors kids, it’s time he faces some serious consequences. Better he face them when he’s 17 than when he’s an adult.
Very good point!
definitely true better as a minor
I wanted to add, my gut reaction would be not to tell, but I don’t think it would help my son in the future. I once heard an interview with Dr. Drew where someone asked what he would do if he caught his son doing drugs or something and Dr. Drew said if he caught his son doing drugs (it’d have to be a problem if his kids allowed themselves to get caught) he’d call the police because he sees what drug and alcohol abuse can do to people.
I have no idea what I would do. Geez.
Well, I’d probably apologize to the mother, (have my kids apologize) since they were the ones that put pot in the brownies. And then my kid would probably be grounded for a bit.
But tough call.
Geez.
I am wondering what the outcome is. Interesting.
I’m gonna tweet this one out in hopes to get you more responses…
I would ….Kick the living shizz out of my kid! But seriously I think I would tell the parents even if my kid got in trouble…..IMO the parents deserve to know….I would make my kid apologize to them and their children and then my child would have to deal with the reprocussions. Being that they are a minor I would hope the other parents would show mercy on them and I would hope the law wouldn’t be as harsh as if they were a minor. O
This is pretty much how I feel too! If someone fed my kid pot laced brownies, I would certainly want to know!
plus i think i would make my kid do the walk of shame …meaning they would have to face those parents and try to make it up to them somehow …yard work ……whatever they want in addition to whatever the law might do. I woould be soooooooooo dissapointed in them
Wow, this is a tough one and my son is only 6years old so I haven’t even begun to think about situations such as this one but I have a good idea how I would handle it.
There are a couple factors in which are dependent on my response. Do I know these parents? What was my son’s reaction when caught?
It is incredibly irresponsible of the 17 Year old to give these kids the brownies especially since they didn’t know they contained marijuana. If he understood that I would then have him gather the kids and have a talk with all of them together. I’d get a feel from the younger neighborhood kids as to how their parents were going to react before I went to them individually. I would then talk to each of their mothers(or fathers) and explain the situation and what punishments I have taken with my son. I would ask them to help me handle this as a community and to please not get law enforcement involved as it would interfere long term with my son’s college plans. My son would then be required to face individual punishment with each family in a way that they saw fit. He may mow their grass all year until leaving for school, paint their porch, do something for each family to show he understands that such actions don’t go unpunished. If at anytime the family is unhappy with his performance at that time I’d ask that they inform me and then if they felt it was necessary contact authorities.
I would also make my son take drug awareness classes so he understood the effects of marijuana in long term as well as short term.
Teenagers brains are not fully developed and they often make mistakes, sometimes serious mistakes. The real problems arise when a teenager makes a mistake that adversely affects their entire life. This is one of those situations. If it were my son I’d make sure he knew that and I would try to help him to not ruin his life but there would be serious consequences as well. I’m not a big fan of taking first offense teenagers(Especially wth drug charges) and giving the jail or detention center time. It doesn’t help to reform the kid and often takes a good kid who messed up and teaches them to be a criminal. In my opinion kids on the fence like this one need to be around positive people who are doing constructive things not other kids who are committing crimes.
I an very curious to find out what the parent did and looking forward to others opinions.
You have some excellent ideas….I like all of them, and you make some really good points. Thank you for commenting!
I’d probably call for a neighborhood meeting with the parents of the kids he gave the brownies to and have him tell them what he did, and ask for their forgiveness. He’ll have to deal with their varying degrees of disappointment and be held accountable for his actions. I think him seeing all of their reactions would be an eye-opener. Coupled with some sort of service to the community that is fitting. Or perhaps him putting on a bake sale {no pot} and all the proceeds going to a local charity. 😉
LOL on the bake sale. Glad you clarified about being pot free. I think having the boy tell the parents is an excellent idea too. It would have much more of an impact I think…
Very tough call. I don’t think I would be okay with alerting the police because at least in Michigan you can go to ‘real’ or ‘adult’ jail at 17. Plus, I don’t know exactly how it works but sometimes kids even 10 or 12 years old get tried as adults. Maybe that has to be a more severe crime? I don’t know. But I really agree that putting a kid in jail can be counter productive for some people. I have a step brother who had a horrible home life and just all kinds of problems, and was sent to juvie for the first time at age 8, and was surrounded by other damaged, hurting kids. By the time he was 11 or 12 he MUCH preferred to be in juvie because he could relate to the kids there and viewed himself as more of a criminal than a ‘normal’ person. Now he’s 31 and still in prison. I just can’t help but think that he needed both discipline and a lot of counseling WAY back when, not just punishment all the time, as it obviously never worked for him.
At the same time, I view this crime as worse than ‘just’ getting caught with pot or smoking pot. Actually taking the time to make pot brownies and distribute them to unknowing children to me is an act that one would only do if they were wanting to trick or even harm someone else. That’s a lot scarier than just desiring acceptance or the feeling of being high. The fact that he must have had negative intentions to pass out brownies to others, is what really would scare me. Does getting good grades in school necessarily mean he’s a good kid? If he intentionally caused harm to someone else that definitely concerns me about his character. It’s impossible to know without knowing the kid, but that’s really worrisome in my opinion.
Excellent points! This would be a really tough thing to deal with. Thank you for your comment!
As a parent, I think your gut reaction would be to protect your child, but when I think about the fact this kid is 17 and somehow thought giving pot to kids was a good idea….that kind of flies out the window. I would make my KID go tell the parents (with me in tow) and apologize to them and the kids. Another commenter mentioned that it’s better if he gets in trouble with the police before he is 18….absolutely right!
Hard question. I believe if this happened on school property in Texas, it would be considered a felony. Aside from that–the parents have the ultimate responsibility if they 1) have not taught their son to avoid unlawful behavior and 2) are still his legal guardians. The parents of the other children should be informed. Both the parents and the son must be held accountable.
I’d turn my kid into the police. No lie, I would. It is one thing is the kid wants to do nonsense to his own body, he’s doing it with informed consent, but when doing it to someone else without their knowledge it is assault.
Boy, so tough! As a mom, the first instinct is to protect your own child, but the poor little kids that he really could have hurt. Also, I don’t think that pot is a horrible drug (please don’t anyone jump all over me – just my own opinion) but it is NOT for 12 year olds and certainly NOT for anyone who doesn’t know they are consuming it. You also have to know that I am a chronic pain sufferer and am for the legalization of marijuana.
Now, as for what to do with my kid if he did this… he would MOST certainly be spoken to and grounded. I would probably alert the parents of the children who were given the brownies – not really sure if I would blame my child (being totally honest here), might say he didn’t know it was in there either… sorry, mama bear kicking in, but I would make sure he know I was completely infuriated with him and he would never do it again!!
Can’t wait to find out what really happened… Do tell.
I also think a child this age could possibly be waived into adult court, but c’mon…IF he is a good student and kid, he’d have a better head on his shoulders than THAT. At 17 he knew good and well what he was doing. If my kid got into that kind of trouble I’d expect him/her to pay the consequences. Kids that young, or ANY age do not deserve to be sick or drugged by someone else. Is the next step for this kid for him to slip drugs into a drink?
I say the parents are obligated to tell the parents and let the cards fall where they may. I also know that the parents of this kid could go broke paying for lawyer fees if the other younger kid’s parents file lawsuits (yeah, we have a suit happy society but in THIS case, who knows if the kids could have been harmed in some way). I dont know how I’d feel about this but when YOUR child is under 18 you ARE responsible for them. I know we cant watch them 24/7, and kids do make mistakes, but this kid intentionally did this. That is the difference.
I know I may sound harsher than some, but I am pretty old school. I have 6 kids age 11-29 and they have not been angels every moment. I actually did have to make a call once on my oldest’s actions and I know I did the right thing. She turned the corner and is a beautiful, bright young woman and mom. God knows what happens when we handle kids that age with “kid’s gloves’ when IF they have been taught right they still make a rotten decision such as this to get a laugh.
I would be furious! Great post and will now beware of brownie gifts from anyone!
That is a tough one! I think the right thing to do would be to tell everyone involved even though the consequences could potentially be very severe. But I know that’s easier said than done.
Angela L.
Oh man, that kid is gonna get it from me AND the authorities because I’d definitely tell the neighbors-Whether they choose to call the police is their business and their right, but my kind should KNOW better then to do that. Even though I love him very much, he chose to do this and every action has a consequence!
Call the cops is what I would do
The first thing that jumped out to me is the fact that her son is smoking pot is “not her main concern”. If he wasn’t high would he have given weed brownies to (much younger!) neighborhood kids? Was this a sample so if they liked it they could buy more from him? (many a teen support their habit by doing low-level dealing). Seventeen is old enough that, unless he has some sort of developmental delay, he should know that it is not a joke.
I live in CA where you can get a prescription to smoke weed for roughly a hundred bucks from “doctors” who advertise on billboards or people waving signs on street corners (they will apparently also write prescriptions for pain meds as well).
I think there’s a whole slew of problems there.
1. She was not that concerned her son was smoking pot (she should be)
2. She was debating of whether to tell the parents or not (just wrong and selfish)
3. Protecting her son (teaching him it’s okay to do harmful, dumb things as long as you don’t get caught)
That said, I know why everyone tells me that I’m doing good by homeschooling my daughter…
No kidding on the homeschooling. Even though my daughter is in public school, that is part of the reason I chose to be a SAHM (and was lucky enough to be able to) – I keep an eagle eye on my kids, in hopes of something like this never happening!
I think counseling for her son is in serious order, hopefully at a re-hab. He needs help if he’s doing stuff like that. After that I would consider a tough love program for him.