Mother walks away from her children to go to Japan
I recently saw a Today Show segment that has truly bothered me all week. Ten years ago a young mother had the opportunity to go to Japan for an overseas fellowship. She left her two small boys with their father for 6 months. During this time, she decided to walk away from her marriage and mothering of her two young boys (ages 3 and 5). Her time apart made her realize that she didn’t want to be a full time mom. She explains that she lost herself and wanted to give herself more priority. (I should mention that she had known she really didn’t want to be a mom before having her two boys.)
The most bothersome part of this for me is the walking away to give herself more priority. You are a mom and right now, your kids need to be your priority!! I am realistic, not everyone wants to be a parent and they choose that lifestyle without kids. But if you do have kids, there is a responsibility. It breaks my heart knowing that these little boys probably didn’t really understand why she left. She wasn’t there to kiss a boo-boo. She wasn’t there to comfort them after a bad dream. She wasn’t there to give them a big hug.
Fast forward ten years. She now lives down the street from her teen boys and shares joint custody. Her time with them is “quality time” because she can pay attention to them in a 5-6 hour block of time. I am not sure I would call that “quality time”…every minute, every smile, every giggle, every cry is quality time with my kids and I don’t think this mother sees that during her 5 hours!
I go from a range of emotions, heartbroken then mad. How could a mom do this? I just don’t get it. Maybe because I knew I wanted to be a mom and became a mom a little later in life. The timing was right and I felt this was such an important choice for us to become a family. I have no idea what this mom’s circumstances were but if you knew you didn’t want to be a mom, why in the world would you have kids, let alone two?
She has written a book about her revelation while in Japan which is up for an award. I personally won’t be reading it or sharing more information than that. I will share the segment for you to watch and see what you think. Maybe I am over reacting…I think back to my kids when they were that age and how much they needed me…I just couldn’t walk away. Could you?