Being a single mom isn’t easy. Moms are already taken for granted and take on so much work to ensure their families are thriving. Single motherhood might be a new concept to some people, so you should know what to expect as you transition into this new stage of your life.
Here are a few things that any mom, single or not, should know going into motherhood.
1. You Might Not Be Happy All The Time
Social media tends to show you the glittery side of motherhood. Most people avoid posting the darker sides of motherhood, where you have to deal with all the messes that babies and children make — where you might feel more alone than ever.
Funny enough, the messy parts of being a mom seem to happen more often than the social media-worthy parts.
It’s okay not to be happy all the time. If you start to notice you’re feeling depressed or mentally unwell, talk to a therapist who can guide you through the darkest times in your life. There are affordable options out there for a family on any budget.
2. Be Yourself
Everyone needs an outlet, including mothers. While you’re busy with motherhood and work, you may not have time to be yourself. You should aim to take up at least one fun hobby you don’t do for any other reason.
This creative hobby should remind you of who you are outside of your attachments to other people and places. Practicing something like art can help you release your emotions in a healthy way, which can benefit your mental state when going through a stressful time.
3. You Will Struggle
The most real truth anyone could tell you about motherhood is you will struggle. When you’re a single mom, the grind never stops. You will constantly be worried about your children’s well-being, as any mother does, but you might be the only one contributing toward a good life for them.
Struggle is a part of motherhood, but as long as you embrace it from the get-go, you won’t have to worry about it sneaking up on you.
4. Take as Much as You Give
As a mother, you may want to pour your whole heart into someone. You have a maternal instinct that makes you want to care for other people. Unfortunately, you can’t take care of everyone.
Your relationships can’t be all give and no take. Make sure the other person in your relationship — romantic or platonic — puts in as much as you do. You don’t have time to give everything to someone else with nothing in return.
5. You Deserve Time Alone
People think mothers need to be around their kids all the time when that’s not the case. As your kids get older, you should offer them some independence away from you, meaning you get to have time for yourself.
Independent play can foster problem-solving skills and critical thinking even in young children, so sometimes it’s best for you to allow time for yourself while giving your child a degree of independence. By supervising your children at play from a distance, you can do something you want while allowing them greater freedom.
6. Believe in Yourself
You’ve already come so far in your journey — and you need to reward yourself for all the good you’ve done. Raising a child or multiple of them on your own is challenging, but you have the power to make it through.
You should always believe in yourself and your abilities. If you don’t, start practicing affirmations that can help you believe in yourself and improve your internal relationship. If you think you can do it, you’ll be able to accomplish anything.
7. Learn to Say No
There will be opportunities you don’t want to miss, but you must. Your friends may urge you to do something you don’t want to or go on a trip you can’t afford.
As much as you may want to be a people-pleaser and tell them what they want to hear, you have to say no. Advocate for yourself and your mental and physical well-being. Setting some boundaries is healthy for you and your relationships. Besides, there will always be another open door.
8. Live Free From Regrets
You have to live your life with no regrets. Hindsight is 20/20 and you might realize years later that you could’ve done something differently.
You shouldn’t have any regrets as long as you do the best you can at the moment with the tools and knowledge you have. Train yourself to walk away from situations that don’t benefit you — like a bad job — when you need to. It’s okay to look back sometimes as long as you keep moving forward. Don’t let past regrets keep you from your goal.
9. It’s Okay to Ask for Help
You may think you’ve got everything handled on your own. While feeling confident and independent is nice, you don’t always have to be. You can ask for help from your family or friends.
They’d be more than willing to do chores for you or watch your children while you take a nap or do something fun. That’s part of having a support system that loves you.
Be The Best Mom You Can Be
There will be mistakes. There will be tough times. Still, being a mother and raising your children is far worth any downside you may experience by being a single mom.
You’re doing your best and that’s what matters. Show your children you love them every day. The struggles might be difficult, but they’re so worth it. Above all, motherhood is rewarding — even the ugly parts.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ava Roman (she/her) is the Managing Editor of Revivalist, a women’s lifestyle magazine that empowers women to live their most authentic life. When Ava is not writing you’ll find her in a yoga class, advocating for her children, or doing her part to save the planet.
The reasons you might be unhappy
One Response
No doubt, it is really tough to manage all things without partner. But you need to do it. Don’t lose heart and be courageous for your kid. Your child needed more time and attention. I would suggest you to play with your children and provide him some activities which will increase his knowledge and skills. I would like to share some learning activities https://wunderkiddy.com/activity/color-in-nature to all mothers who really want to teach her kids.